


domestic services

by orphan_account



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Established Relationship, Gen, Kissing, M/M, Super Secret Spies being Super Super Domestic, Super Secret Spy Husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5794672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The person behind him shifts slightly and Eggsy can feel the shift in the air as the gun is pointed in the apex of his shoulders, inches away.</p>
<p>or,<br/>eggsy gets pissed when someone breaks in and leaves blood on his nicely cleaned kitchen. james thinks it's weird.</p>
            </blockquote>





	domestic services

Eggsy smiles happily as he dries his hand on the towel tucked into the front of his apron.

He can still smell the pine fresh scent of the cleaning product he’d used, leaving a smell in the air that he can’t help but inhale; he loves the scent of cleaning products, an overreach of his tendency to clean when stressed.

He freezes when he hears the soft click of a heel behind him, the sound of a safety being shut off. He rolls his eyes, rolling his shoulders out as he slowly reaches in for the Charter Arms Snub-nosed Revolver he’d stashed in the apron pocket.

“Really?” He says to the sparkling clean oven. He loves it when things sparkle, especially when he can see his face in them, their that clean.

James tells him it’s weird. Eggsy tells him to shut it. Everyone needs hobbies, even super secret spies.

The person behind him shifts slightly and Eggsy can feel the shift in the air as the gun is pointed in the apex of his shoulders, inches away.

He takes a deep breath, before exploding into action.

He tosses the pale pink towel over his shoulder, blinding the man. He hears rough cursing, a thick American accent as Eggsy ducks to the side, Snub-nosed revolver in hand, safety off as he plants a bullet in the strangers forehead, shooting trice and hitting his target all three times.

“Very anti-climatic,” a deep voice says from the door way. Eggsy laughs, picking up the pale towel that had fallen over the strangers chest and wiping the tiny specks of blood that had hit his face.

“Weren’t expectin’ yer for anovver week, James, how was France?” Eggsy smiles brightly. “Fuck,” he says, looking down and seeing the specks of blood on his dress shirt, bespoke trousers also hit slightly. “Andrews gonna have fit,”

James laughs, eyes crinkling around the corner as he steps over the body, cupping Eggsys face in gun roughened hands.

“You, Eggsy Unwin, are marvellous,” He says. He’s extraordinarily handsome, Eggsy thinks faintly, seeing his matte pale blue suit, white dress shirt popped open at the collar.

Harry Hart, Eggsy sometimes thinks, would have hated him. Eggsy loves it.

“Oi, thought we’d agreed on it bein’ Bond, luv,” He says, remembering the conniption fit Merlin had had when he’d dragged James fucking Bond to meet Merlin in a coffee shop of all things.

A year later, Merlins face when James had said they’d be getting married and Eggsy would later be Eggsy Bond had actually been fantastic.

(Actually, Merlins nephew’s face when James had dragged Eggsy into the Q-Branch and had cheerfully stated that he’d met the love of his life and that Q’s uncle approved of him was downright brilliant. Especially when Q figured out how Merlin knew of Eggsy.)

“I suppose you’re right, Mr. Bond,” James says gravely, stepping forward until he’s crowding Eggsy against the squeaky clean cupboard. “Though I would prefer you to stop leaving dead bodies in our kitchen at two in the morning,”

“Well, if they’d stopped tryna kill me, I wouldn’t,” Eggsy grins cheekily, using stealthy fingers to open the few buttons done up in James’ suit jacket, before slipping his arms around his waist.

He peers mournfully over James’ shoulder however, when he remembers the triple tapped the man to the head. There is a thin puddle of blood dripping onto Eggsys nice clean kitchen tiles.

“I just cleaned that,"He says, mournful. He’d have to break out the bleach again after last time. The stains from two weeks ago still hadn’t faded completely.

James laughs, pressing Eggsy further into the cupboard and ducking his head down to stare at Eggsys spit slick mouth.

"We’ll clean it after,” James says, blue eyes darkening. Eggsy makes a noise in the back of his throat, feeling James hardening against his hip as Eggsy slips his hands up to James neck.

“After what?” Eggsy says, purposefully obtuse. Something darkens in Jame’ blue eyes, dropping to Eggsys lips as large, hot hands move from Eggsy’s waist to his thighs, clenching and then pulling Eggsy up so his arse balances on the side.

“Right after I show how much I love it when I see you shooting a gun,”

“Such promises,” Eggsy laughs, moaning as James slants his lips over his, licking his way into Eggsys mouth as James pulls him closer, Eggsy thighs easily bracketing James’s hips.

“I was going to get you to bed,” James growls, large hands creeping up to grip Eggsys arse, fingers dipping below the waist band and making Eggsy moan. “But I think I’ll just make you scream as I fuck you over the kitchen table,”

“You’re a menace, Mr. Bond,” Eggsys moans, strangled.

“Only to you, dear husband,”


End file.
